


Killing Sweetly

by riversritual



Series: River’s Quiet Little Mountain Town AU (South Park) [8]
Category: South Park
Genre: Alcohol Poisoning, Death, F/F, How to Get Away With Murder - Freeform, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26702587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversritual/pseuds/riversritual
Summary: Kylie and Kendra finally manage to rid the world of Stuart McCormick
Relationships: Kylie Broflovski/Kendra McCormick
Series: River’s Quiet Little Mountain Town AU (South Park) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114889
Kudos: 1





	Killing Sweetly

The plan was simple: Kylie working in Hell’s Pass meant that she could get access to a whole bunch of useful shit, so the easiest way to do it was to poison the bad shit he drank every day and pass the whole thing off as alcohol poisoning.

If anyone found the body, that is.

“So, everyone’s definitely okay with it?” Kylie asked, whispering because the walls were extremely thin.

She and Kendra were in the blonde’s room, waiting for the certain drunk to hit the floor as the indication that the poison had taken affect.

“Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure Carol had been waiting for us to offer, and Karen’s old enough to understand now, she’s cool with it. Kenny will be fine and Kevin’s hardly home anymore anyway, we’ll live,” Kendra replied reassuringly.

Kylie was still a bit unsure, but she wasn’t about to back down and let Kendra go it alone.

With all things considered, it was a somewhat sweet way to kill him. It would be painless and quick.

It wasn’t too long before they heard it, the sound that seemed to echo through the entire house: the thud of a body hitting the floor.

Kendra carefully unlocked her door (what? Obviously you’d need locks on your bedroom door in that house) and motioned for Kylie to follow.

The redhead obeyed, one hand in the blonde’s hand and the other gripping a baseball bat in case the job had to be finished more violently.

Slowly, silently, the pair crept down the hallway towards the living room. The familiar stench of the stuff frequently brought into the house was in the air, but it’s not like they weren’t used to it.

Finally, they made it to the living room.

And....

“Check his pulse,” Kendra whispered.

“Fuck that, you do it,” Kylie argued.

It seemed too perfect. There he was, having collapsed on the floor and unmoving, but...

Was he actually....?

Kendra eventually stepped over.

“He’s dead,” she sighed in relief.

Kylie’s hand eased up on the bat and she let it fall to the floor. “Want me to call?”

“Karen called dibs, go see if she’s still up,” Karen answered. “You’re like, one of her favourite people now along with your brother.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“The call thing?”

“The favourite thing.”

Kendra shrugged. “She won’t confirm, but I can.”

Kylie shook her head, and smiled. “Of course,” she headed back down the hall.

The blonde sighed, and nudged the body with her shoe.

“Yep, Kenny’s gonna kill me for this.”

........

Karen was extremely convincing over the phone, and the death was ruled as an accident by alcohol poisoning.

Everyone could be a good actor when the time came.

“Uh oh, he’s back,” Kylie muttered, spotting a familiar blond boy returning home just as the cops were leaving with the body.

“What the hell happened?” Kenny asked, in near disbelief. Oh, he wanted to be dreaming so bad right now.

Kendra put herself in front of Kylie, knowing full well what her cousin could be like. “We killed the bastard that’s been ruining your life, so you’re welcome.”

Kenny crossed his arms. “And this was actually both of you?”

“Yes,” Kendra replied, “and we would have told you but you’re never home. Now, we’re going to bed. Night, cousin.”

She gave a little wave before dragging Kylie back down the hall to her room and locking the door behind them.

The redhead sighed. “He’s never gonna like me like you want him to.”

“Whatever, Auntie Carol and not-so-little Karen do, that’s all that matters to me. Now let’s sleep, we deserve it after such success.”


End file.
